we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
