how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
