Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
