Your tits are I can't wait for
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just threw up on my dentist
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
