Can i not drive my cunt home
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
