something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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