Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
