How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
