i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
