just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
