She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
