I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
