last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
they need to just BURY HIM!
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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