help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
