I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
