Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Bring me that man meat
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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