Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
