Me too!
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
