I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
