Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
thus making me awesome and them whores
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Randomize
