elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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