I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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