the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
