carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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