i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
cat food counts as protein by the way
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
