Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
