Are we in a gay sports bar?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
