that's an acceptable place to lick
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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