Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
