i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
She needs sedatives and a leash
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
