WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Randomize
