Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
