walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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