i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
