I didn't shave. On purpose
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
