I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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