the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
