he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
