Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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