I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
