Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
