she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
