Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
