I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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