dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
