God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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