I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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