Don't you send me to vm
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
