yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
