I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
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